Thursday, May 24, 2018

Selamat hari lahir Ayah

Delay post..

16 May 2018.

If you are still here with us, today will be your 69 years birthday. But since 5 years back, me, abang and sisters could not wish directly to you, could not celebrate together. You've left us. On your 63rd birthday, 2012, i gave a called from work, wish you a happy birthday and you just laugh. That moment remain freshly in my mind until today. Everything still fresh.

There's a lot thing i wanna share. My career, my struggles, my heart broken, my dreams. There's a lot changes in our family too. Everything not really smooth sailing once you're gone. But still, we are doing good. Former, i thought abang not so sensitive but he did wish and miss you a lot Ayah. A lot. He was shed a tear on the last moment before we buried you forever. And his simple status today really make me cry.

I can't write long as now i already shed a tear too. We miss you, a lot. Kak Ngoh sayang Ayah.
Happy birthday Ayah. Al-Fatihah~

Tinta hati ryu : A good-bye is never painful unless you're never going to say HELLO again

Thursday, May 3, 2018

03 May 2018

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

13 Days to Ramadhan. It means, 13 days of searching for me. Deep down, i really hope my 13 days before Ramadhan will give me a rainbow. A yellow one most welcome first. Anything can happen right. I wish today, if Allah willing, i will have what i want tomorrow. Vice versa, that wish may be keep first and be granted to me some other time. The perfect time.

I had a mixed feeling this almost half a year. I can be so happy in the morning and so gloomy in the evening. I will show the smile the whole days and also feel "i need my space". It's kind of restless life of me i think. Sometimes i will question myself, WHAT. Soooo middle age crisis.

But, i can move on from you dear butterfly. It seem i reach the expiry date of crush. Ahahaha. I fall again. Dear heart, why must this happen? Don't you pity me?. Ahhh. Sorry Rerama, i only have you to told all of this. *wink*. Ya Allah, kau jatuh kan lah hati ku ini pada si dia yang selayaknya.

When i realize that you already attract me just the way you are, my sleeping-kind-of-artsy-finger-kononnye has awaken. Hahahaha. Disclaimer, i'm not so talented in drawing. A simple one can do. But seriously i cannot draw human. =P
I try to draw you (probably not your face) copying your photo. Opps sorry i 'stole' it. ngee~
I draw your hobby. Ahhh why. Why i fall to you like this.
When you will noticed me? eh! Hahaha.

Tinta hati rerama : Hati seringkali menuju persimpangan. Tapi tidak juga ke kiri mahupun ke kanan. Jadinya mahunya apa kamu si hati?

Monday, April 23, 2018

Koala Bambam is TWO

Crazy little thing called homesick.

Last Friday night, me and Nain drove back to our "heart" and came back to this light town last night. Tired. Exhausted but satisfied. Weekend drive about 6 hours + 6 hours. Mirah already fly 2 days early. It's turn to be a small birthday celebration to the one and only cucu (for now) together with our Abang.

So, yeahhh our king of heart turn 2 last 13 April. He's a big boy now and i'm kind of miss the koala bambam version. Emirrrrrr, che ngoh sayang emir bambam. Sob sob. Time flies so fast. Lucky he still can get along with me. Hahaha berani yer Mir tanak dengan che ngoh. He can talk now even not so fluent and so much phrase and owhh maiiii you are so adorable Emir. A clever boy. (Just annoyed when you're too focus with gadget when che ngoh face time).

Thank you Emir for being a good boy and che ngoh hope you will be a better person later. Be kind, responsible, lovable and most important, don't break gurls heart ok. Piat telinga nanti. hahaha.

Happy Birthday Raja Emir Shaqeef Aryan a.k.a my forever koala bambam. Love you. ❤️

Tinta hati rerame :Lihat bintang di langit bawa aku mengingati mu nun jauh di utara. 

Friday, April 6, 2018

Your gift

"Hey, don't steel his food"

Dear Awak,

You make my day so beautiful with just by heard your voice. Yeap, your-not-a-second-voice. I love to hear that. Love to see how you so generous with the cats. I keep praying that one find day you will realize my existence. Smile. Wanna play hide and seek ya. Hahaha. Kidding.


Thursday, March 22, 2018


Seriously, i really hate to say goodbye.
I was come back to my home town last weekend but not really enjoy it as i'm busying try to settle the life long matter. (Could not be done..sob sob). Drive back with my cousin around 2130hrs for the first time. Yeap,, first time drive long journey at night. Arrived home at 0330hrs. Collapse until 'kesiangan'. I can't open up my eyes when ibu wake me up. We have a wedding bekwoh to attend and help. My cousin got hitched. Going there around afternoon and back home to go to another wedding and bring Ibu 'memborong kain baju raya'.

The next day again could not attend the 'mengantor menantu' as i stuck at UTC. Huwaaaa. Sorry ayoh de. Whole day drive, visit Along at hospital and i climb up the stair to level 7. Level 7 ok. Sebab sejenis cuak nak naik lif hospital. hahahhaa. Semoga Along beroleh kesihatan yang baik. Turun naik tangga tu tak terdaya nak main mata dengan doktor-II dah. Opps. Hahahaa.

Then the day has come, the day that i need to say goodbye. Leaving home, left Ibu alone with Bihah, i cry. Ermm Nain got the job in KL too, before this she's there, accompany ibu, bring ibu everywhere but now we had to left her. Sebab sebak and sejenis cengeng, hanya mampu salam cium tangan je, tak terkata nak titip pesan dekat Bihah. Drama air mata dalam kereta. (Burn the flight ticket..sob sob)

Nak balik duduk Terengganu pleaseeeeeeeeeee.

Monday, February 26, 2018

A confession to a guy

Today, I take a move to make a confession to someone that i just adore. Erkk lalang kan. Gapoever. Hahaha. Yeap it take so much courage back then to have that strength because i confess to "bukan biasa-biasa" person. I'm scared, thinking too much like "that i will be humiliate?" "Did he will show it to his close cousin?". Owhh seriously. I'm not afraid of rejection. It's better i try and being reject rather than sit and wait.

Actually i don't know when his personality attract me. But seeing his face give me calmness. I feel breathing. I try to make me exist around him, virtually but it seem he doesn't noticed or just ignore me. So, i try this last solution, may be. Deep in my tiny heart, i pray that he at least wanna be my friend. Its okay for that. To be truth, i'am afraid to put a high expectation. You know who you are right. What kind of you compare to him. Its a far far far away. He's a prince. Hahhahaa. Kidding.

Heyyaaaa trying is no harm right.

Tinta hati Ryu : Sang Enggang mungkin terbangnya tinggi dari sang pipit tapi tiada salahnya enggang mahu beriringan sesama pipit. *Smile*

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Pelangi untuk emo reading

Saat hati goyah dengan rasa sedih, serius membaca novel itu sangat lah disaster. Dan sesungguhnya aku sendiri pun tak tahu kenapa mood hati sangat swing lately. Forever alone sangat gamaknya. huewwww.

Since semalam memang glenyar pi sambung baca novel Pelangi Untuk Ara, here some words yang tertaip dekat twitter. Owhh ni belum habiskan lagi laa.. Kerja oii cari penyakit nak berjaga ke pagi semata nak habiskan novel tu. Hahaha.

Punya Huzair yang pinjamkan bahu untuk air mata, pinjamkan telinga untuk setiap keluh kesah, adakan masa untuk seorang Ara. Kesetiaan persahabatan.

Ada seorang Dee yang sentiasa memberi semangat, nasihat dan juga menarik kearah kebaikan dengan cara yang halus. Seorang Dee yang tidak pernah menghukum mahupun judgemental. Kesetiaan persahabatan.

Miliki seorang Eiyad yang sangat mengambil berat as a-brother-from-another-FaMa, care with love, strict but in a good way. Love-hate-relationship.

Pelangi Untuk Ara,
Ara boleh luahkan tangisan without try to hold it like me (for sure laa kan) with doing a bungee jumping, ditemani seorang sahabat yang worth to keep. A friends that know how to cherish you.

Pelangi untuk Fatihah?
Allah gerakkan hati Awak untuk view my story, that exactly akan buatkan saya tersenyum serta merta setiap kali saya gloomy. Terima kasih. InsyaAllah akan ada jalur pelangi onwards dari segala sudut untuk aku di hari-II mendatang. Amin


Disaster right?
Mane nak jumpa seorang Huzair untuk teman pergi bungee jumping ni? Huzair yang nak dengar segala mak nenek yang terpendam? Huzair yang tak kisah dah tak ketawa bila nak menangis? Hurmmm.
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